Reflections from Black Fathers

What better way to celebrate black fathers than by to give them a forum to share their experiences for themselves?

No one can tell my story better than I can. That’s why when I started thinking about a Father’s Day blog to honor black fathers, I reached out to the network of black fathers I know to solicit their feedback on the subject of fatherhood.

Earlier this week, I emailed and texted black dads I know and asked them questions about fatherhood. One question I asked was “What is the one thing you wish ‘other America’ knew about black fathers?”

Yes, I have read the same statistics you have. Those statistics say that there are many black dads who are absent, negligent, and imprisoned. Rarely, do we acknowledge the other black dads. Those guys who simply do what they must to nurture their children while rarely getting any positive recognition from the masses.

I feel an obligation to acknowledge the many wonderful men I know who are present, who are taking care of their kids, and who are glorious examples of manhood and leadership.

I received far more responses than I expected. The overwhelming response supports my theory that black men were simply waiting for someone to ask them their thoughts about the tremendous role they play.

A common theme amongst these gentlemen responders echoed this sentiment:

“For me, I am troubled by the low expectation that people have of black fathers. It is frustrating that no one expects anything from us. When I do anything, people respond with such amazement that I take care of my kids when it really is not a big deal. It’s simply what I am supposed to do. ~Tim R, Chicago father of three.

I received two heartfelt and sincere comments from two different dads. I thought it best not to tamper with or taint their responses with my own interpretation, but to share them with you as they were shared with me.

What better way to celebrate these men, than by giving them a platform to share their own thoughts in their own voices?

Todd B.~Clearfield, Utah, father of four children wrote:

“My goal as a father is like any other father. I equip my kids with the emotional and mental tools necessary for them to be successful. I am aware of the bad rap and stereotypes that black fathers have; it’s not true. It’s not true for me, or the circle of influence I navigate. I have to admit these and other unfair adversities can make a black father angry. We have to overcome the anger and not allow that anger to transfer to our children. Black, white, or brown I have found that dads feel unappreciated and taken for granted.

What makes us strong is that in spite of our feelings; we provide…unsung. Our reward is the smile on our families’ faces.”

Bill P~Chicago father of three girls wrote:

“I have been married for 21 years, and I am the father of four girls. My whole life I’ve felt that raising productive, well rounded, contributing members of society is the most important obligation of any parent. Raising my girls to emulate and be upgraded versions of me is my duty as a parent. It is my obligation to both my community and to the God I serve who has entrusted me with this task. I was never the hard-fisted dad that people have said I need to be as a black father. It is much more in my nature to talk to my girls. Whenever I did need to incorporate “The Rod”, it was always after a calm discussion as to why this punishment was about to go down. It’s easy to doubt your methods when your children are young and the proof hasn’t quite met up with the pudding yet, but patience. Allowing your own heart, mind and strength along with a few suggestions from the village elders will in the end prove- no matter what your particular style of fathering is. As long as love is the motivating factor…you’re doing it right.”

So, today we celebrate fathers. All fathers, but in particular OUR fathers. Enjoy your special day. You have earned it.

Single Post Navigation

← Older Entry

Newer Entry →